Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

The story goes like this: One day, a very talented, genius young woman, with great social skills, great knowledge and wisdom and without any flaws, comes up with a brilliant business idea, which she puts down on a napkin from her preferred bar. She proceeds to build in record time such a successful business venture that makes her and her associate billionaires and their friends very successful and famous people. Let's call her associate the evil dude. Her friends and the evil dude are all greedy and one day the evil dude decides to invest the company's money in a dubious McGuffin which is basically a super concentrated hydrogen thing that can generate a lot of electricity, but it apparently has serious flaws because it's very combustible. So instead of a realistic approach, the story takes us to an obtuse turn of events, as the bright woman decides to kick the evil dude out of business because using the McGuffin is evil, but the deal turns sour after he gets all their circle of friends to lie in court and somehow claim the whole business solely to himself based on the pretence that he wrote the basic business concept in the infamous napkin instead of her. Somehow that works and she is left disgraced and alone. At that point she finds the napkin and to prove it she sends a photograph via email to her identical twin sister. Now, of course, the email somehow is common knowledge, so the evil dude tracks her down and kills her, poor thing. That's all explained in the second half of the film in flashbacks, now we get to the story as presented from the beginning: This evil dude invites his friends to an isolated island for the weekend, and he is surprised to see that his old associate, that brilliant young woman, attends the event, along with 007. Of course, this is not the brilliant woman from the start of the story, she is her equally virtuous and noble identical twin, who happens to be a teacher and perfect person that lives elsewhere and is there to avenge her sister. Sorry, did I say avenge her sister? I meant bring justice to her sister. Anyway, the guy is obsessed with the Mona Lisa, which he borrows from France, and puts behind a very unsafe glass cage that can easily be opened. You can see where this is going. OK, turns out that all the friends in the island owe their success to this evil dude, and they are all very toxic people. After a while it surfaces that the original perfect girl died, and one of the friends knows the evil dude killed her, so the evil dude kills him. Then he tries to kill the twin, just to make sure. But he fails, because she is perfect. Then she finds the napkin but he burns it. But it doesn't matter, because she breaks everything and sets fire to his palace, which is powered by the hydrogen McGuffin thing, which is everywhere, because that's how electricity works. That burns the Mona Lisa down, ending the nefarious plans of the evil dude. 007 meanwhile is basically tagging along, telling the brilliant virtuous twin his educated opinion on how things are and distracting the nasty people so they don't realise she is on a quest for justice. In the end, the evil dude is apparently exposed, 007 and her sister's friends are at the same place they were at the start of the film, and she burned evidence of a homicide and a unique work of art. But hey, that is totally justified, because the evil dude was exposed! When I walked into the cinema I was expecting some Poirot-inspired 'whodunnit' story, but instead I got this moronic tale, with shallow and boring characters, trying to pitch an unlikely reality where becoming a millionaire is something trivial and where normal rules don't apply and attempts the now-cliched Hollywood trend to spread the pernicious and false social identity ideology, which I strongly oppose. For these reasons I rate this piece of junk a 1 out of 10 stars, since IMDB won't let me go any lower.