Pinocchio

Like any other Disney remake (except perhaps arguably Beauty and The Beast), a disaster that does not respect the essence of the original in the slightest, and of all the remakes, this is probably the worst alongside Dumbo and The Lion King. The Uncanny Valley effect whipping through the roof, unnecessary filler and replacement of iconic situations, flanderized characters and dark situations made more "light", two new characters horribly generic and without any charm, old characters without charm, the fairy inexplicably changed and references to the popular culture at a time when it would make no sense. The original is a masterpiece, one of the best animated movies of all time and like many others it didn't need a remake, at most a well done 2d remake taking advantage of current animation and widescreen format and that's it. It amuses me that some defend it saying "but it has some situations that explain things that the original doesn't" and that kind of garbage. I remind you that the original came out in 1940. If they couldn't do something better it would be absurd. But everything should be better! The new generations ruin all these animated movies and I'm sick of it. It also happens with many video game remakes unfortunately. But hey, if people continue to allow it, let them take it. Walt Disney would be very disappointed.

Casting looks great but OMG the CGI is terrible, how is it so bad in this age. The story is changed to be modern with no reason. This is meant to be set in a time with no technology yet everything seems more advanced than in the real world. I don't care about the story as its just re make rubbish. But if ya gonna make this garbage at least get the CGI right especially when there is so much of it in the movie. Cheesy, the acting is awful. The puppet is super annoying and they have added stupid extra modern items to the movie just not needed. The original creator would be ashamed of this terrible movie Disney you are dropping the ball continuously lately. This is bad & it's starting to creep into star wars & Marvel which is unforgivable.

Tom Hanks tried his best (as always) Keegan Michael Key is brilliant (as always) Jiminy sounds as close to the original as one can ask but even he comes off as campy. The movie stunk around them. The movie comes off as a rip-off of a classic Disney movie, not a Disney movie itself. Poop jokes, Chris Pine jokes, trying too hard to be good, it's all been done before. The only saving grace in this movie is that Tom Hanks and Keegan Michael Key are in it. Those two could recite the New York City phone book and make it a broadway musical. A while back, Robin Williams pondered why movies about the ancient Romans all had actors with British accents & not Italian. I ponder, in 2022, why this movie, set in Italy, had a mix of Italian, American, British (& whatever Jiminy is) accents. Not much else to say really is there? It's not good.

I must caveat by saying I don't really enjoy the story of Pinocchio in general, so was always gonna be a hard sell to get me to enjoy this. But it's just not good. I will say it strikes a nice balance between the real and the CGI and still a better remake than The Lion King (2019), but that's where it ends. Tom Hanks can't sing, Pinocchio is still as frustrating as ever, and so much happens in such a short space of time and doesn't really have any resolution. And because it's not a cartoon I don't think it'll charm children. I will say that I did like the Blue Fairy, but felt more of a cameo than an actual character.

This was just so lame, slow paced, predictable (follows usual cartoon story), token diversity casting that didn't match with the town or the era, Disney clocks of modern day movies by was set in the past (made no sense), wooden performance by the always wonderful Tim Hanks and Jimminy Cricket just looked creepy. Was so hard to make it through and I was left wondering ... why! The ending was confusing and unnecessary, he should have been made a boy like the strange blue fairy said. Also why not have a whale, this very weird sea creature and boats that snap in half yet seem to work and the storyline here was so ridiculous. What have Disney done to a once might story and Francise.